My Golden Ending
When I first started this project with Lexie, I was in a VERY different place than I am now....
Dance has been a part of both of our lives since childhood and we have have made a career out of it. Teaching kids, choreographing, and running our own businesses. I can confidently speak for both of us when I say, to create ,it our purpose in life and it’s our passion. I can also speak confidently for both of us, when I say, it is a heavy burden to bear, and can also
be a very lonely journey, with really long seasons of lows and very short seasons of successes.
We are both perfectionists in completely different ways when it comes to our craft. But experiencing just one successful night of dance heightens our feelings of success for maybe, only just 24 hours. There are beautiful moments where the audience connects with some of our deepest feelings and vulnerable thoughts. For just a few of those fleeting moments it makes the hard parts of being a creator worth it.
One night after a THD show, it was just Lexie and I having dinner. “Celebrating” or trying to at least. This is how almost all of our post show conversations are....what can we do better? From lights to choreography, to audience attention. We crave the connection of people to our art. When the crowd goes home, there’s no more dancing, music, or stage lights...we both just look at each other, sometimes with tears in our eyes and admit how it feels after the hype dies down and having shared pieces of ourselves, that we are going home alone with our own minds and no significant other to share these successes with. We were both single at the time and some of the only single friends left, un married and with no kids (we know, we know...”it doesn’t matter”).
We started talking about choosing dance, always. At young ages we pursued our dreams. We both felt that we had no time or the “right time” of our day or night to make the right kind of connections that could produce lasting relationships. Was dance at the cost of healthy relationships?
There was always such a bittersweet feeling after a show, a successful rehearsal, or a night of creativity, because there was no one to share it with. We want to create these legacy’s but who are we passing them on to?
Of course we had friends, families and supporters, but sometimes that isn’t enough. But who was there to just hold us at the end of a long day? After a bad show? A good show? A terrible night at class? And just to listen to the stresses of running a business.?
Lexie and I are very much alike but very different. I would search for that person everywhere with no avail and she would dive more into her work. We both distracted ourselves in different ways but still asked the same questions.
So of course we decided to collaborate and choreograph Gold together. Showing visuals of us at home, looking through the windows of what we wanted in the future, and asking ourselves our career of dance? Or a husband and kids? Have we made the right decisions pouring our lives into something that doesn’t always give back?
Maybe not even a month after shooting Gold I met my husband and am ecstatic to say we are having a baby girl. In my head of course, I thought my dreams and all of my goals for dance would for sure have to be put on the back burner. I know without my husband and my baby my life wouldn’t be complete and I ALSO know without my purpose, passion and creativity my life wouldn’t be complete. If anything, they have given me even more reason to create and have inspired me to be even better. I am blessed to have found someone who would never want me to set any of that aside and who knows I need both my love of dance and creativity and who will listen and be there through every high and low of that.
So my final ending of Gold is...you don’t have to choose one. You CAN have both.
Hear more about the story behind GOLD HERE!