Filter & Brewing Season
I asked the Lord to break me and build me back up anew or into what He needs me to be. There are days where I truly see and get what I have asked for. I saw where I am dark within my inner being this season and let me tell you, it is the most heartbreaking process ever. There were days where my perspective was open and alert to identify where and why I was broken. (The root of the problem) I keep in mind that we are all equal, but when it comes to the world, life is one tough pill to swallow. Thank God for His love, presence, and devotion to us.
Once I’ve realized where I was broken (assumptions, pride, acceptance, being hard on myself whenever I made certain mistakes and more than what I’m exploring), I started putting myself down about it more and more. Keep in mind that this is all in my head and my reactions. However, I transitioned into looking into Bible Plans in my Bible App more and found solutions through God to help me improve where I am weak and flawed. This has helped me lighten up the load I had on myself. Another step I took was just making a list of what bad habits I wanted to let go and what seeds I wished to hold onto better. After that I lit up two white candles (meaning peace & positivity) and prayed. From the first day I have already noticed a shift in my attitude and focus. Also, I had to keep in mind that I need to be more consistent in doing the work, listen, and praying. What I have come across recently has been difficult and not too pretty, but I have to stand firm and validate what God says overall! I take more moments to pray even, in the middle of different situations or concerns throughout the day. I have found it very helpful and my emotions were less likely to overrun me than usual.
When you ask God to break you and make you new, your love walk will get harder! That means the ugly things within you will sometimes come face to face with you directly and unexpectedly. The best time is when you least expect it lol.. All in all, how you receive what you see needs improvement depends on how you accept yourself for where you are and how you move on from that point. That’s when you just grow more on how to humble yourself and see what your reaction and perspective of things create. No matter what, give your best and don’t be so hard on yourself. Whatever God reveals to you in the mirror of His light, don’t see it as something that is a part of who you are. View it as a temporary. There is always room to grow and we all run into dark season(s) or moment’s in time. Question is, will you fight and trust God in your brokenness or will you fight against what God reveals to you?